Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
