i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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