Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
