My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
