We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize