She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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