Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
