I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
