I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
