Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
