this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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