Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
