Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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