Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize