i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just forgot I was standing up.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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