why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
