My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
