You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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