I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
