So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
