I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The uberlube is also flammable
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
