she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
