Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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