508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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