then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I puked a lego.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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