i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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