what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
