Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
