wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
