I think i peed on brittanys purse
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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