Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize