I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
