Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
