Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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