When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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