3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
wanna go halves on a baby?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
