Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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