i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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