So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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