So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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