i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
