Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
