sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
