so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
