people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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