so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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