I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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