It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
