i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
