you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
