I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize