he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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