so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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