I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
