I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
