Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
