I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
