I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just gift wrapped bread.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
