I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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