I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I woke up under a house in Key West
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
