I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
