either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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