My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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