We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
