Kiss
Puke
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
