either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
