College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
