I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
