I wish I could punch you in the face.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
